Listen to the Man in you

When, after 1 MONTH of abstinece and barely seeing each other, your girlfriend say: "I'm a bit ill, and I don't feel like having sex" this is a signal that there is something wrong going on. A flashy signal big like a building.

She is distant and doesn't want to talk about meeting later. You feel bad, betrayed, resentful and scared of losing her. What's the right thing to do? Getting clingy and needy, calling her and praying that she go out with you because it's not "right" if she doesn't fulfill her duty as a girlfriend? Or perhaps stay calm and say something like this: "Clearly you need to think about our relationship. Call me when you will have make up your mind, and if I'm still free we'll hang out and be happy again."?

I don't need to say (I hope) that the second option is the way to go. But if you still have a hard time doing it ("It's simply not right, she is disrespecting me, she is supposed to hang out with me because she is my girlfriend...") think about it this way:

You clearly have two voices in your head: the Loser (the nice guy that is scared like hell of losing her and angry because after all that he has done to her she is still holding back sex) and the Man (he is the one that knows how to behave, the one that is calm, has respect for himself and understand that he is better alone that in a poisonous relationship). And you have the choice to listen to who you want. You can decide to listen to Loser and BE a loser, or listen to the Man in you and making the right choice.

It's a matter of taking into consideration your self-respect and to willingly sacrifice a short term gain for a long-term one.

Do you like her? Do you want to save the relationship? Then don't think about her too much and make some space between you two. Show her that you are willing to walk away, enough mature and emotionally stable to not freaking out. Let her go, and she'll return.

It's difficult, but if you don't do that, you'll be again single very very soon.

PS:
There is something cathartic with writing your situation and analyzing it with your "Man" hat on your head.