How to be a genius

"Genius comes from learning how to teach yourself the skills you need to succeed." -- Everett Bogue

Too much guys are focused on searching and ammassing information rather than on really learning (I was one of them). When you collect ebook, DVDs and seminars you are not really learning. Real learning comes from applying what you see, read and hear. True knowledge is information + experience.

All too often, when someone is confused or clueless he starts searching for the magic bullett or the supreme and infallible guru. Too often when some guy is confused, he tries to learn some more:

"I only need some more informations and I'll be on my way to Mastery!"

Result: even more confusion. And so a new KJ is born.

No, it doesn't have to be that way. All you need is some good information and maybe a little guidance, but real learning comes from applying that informations (about foundamentals), analyzing and adjusting your approach for solving a real problem. In other words, experience-oriented learning with the proper self-awareness.

My suggestion: when you are confused, STOP and think where you are, what your context is and what is your problem. THIS is how you reach mastery and really learn, not by blindly following someone else's directions. Always start with the problem and work your way through he solution using your brain first, not the other way around. Real spontaneity, knowledge and confidence comes from forging and applying your own judgment in the here and now.

The key to be a genius is effective self-learning by really using your brain and creating true knowledge through experience. Using your own judgement and problem-solving skills is KEY, ad I'm discovering in this days.

PS: HBWaitress from the last day has a boyfriend (or she wasn't interested, I heve to work on my first impression, body language and co.). NEXT!

How to learn seduction

With all the material that you can find online (and offline), studying seduction could be overwhelming. So much that there is a real potential problem here.

If you read tons of material but never go out and actually practice what you read, you know a lot of (useless) theory. When you have too much ideas in your head you fall prey of paralysis-by-analysis: when you finally try to use what you know, too much (even contrasting) ideas comes to your mind and you freeze because you can't decide what's the right thing to do. There isn't any automatic and instinctual behavioural response that you have ingrained into yourself by practicing it over time.

You can be in danger if you are:

• a "smart" guy that likes pretty theories and mental models
• so scared of going out and expand your comfort-zone that you trick yourself to NOT doing it: "I will study for a couple of months before". But as you can guess, that two months can become much more than 60 days...

Most of the time, it is a combination of the two.

The problem is that if you are scared of practicing this stuff, you feel anxiety (mental discomfort) and when you postpone the practice you feel relief. Because of that relief your brain reinforces this response and the next time you will be more likely to postpone even more (hey, I feel relieved! So postponing that is good, let's do more of it!). You must be willing to trade a little of anxiety now for a long term benefit.

The best approach
The best approach is to read a little that is relevant to your situation and your problems and practice it. Then read a little more and practice even more. Deliberate practice is essential to master every skill.

For more on how to learn effectively seduction, see BradP's report.

My suggestions are:

1. Identify what's your problem (AA? Connection? Conversation? Escalation?)
2. Find good informations about it
3. Read (a little) and come up, for every article, with an action list detailing how you will use that information the next time you'll go out.

The last step is very important. Seduction material is NOT for fun, it's for LEARNING.

Remeber: keep your focus on the outcome (becoming an attractive man), start from a real problem you are experiencing, then find a solution to it and practice!

Approach Anxiety?

A little bit of anxiety is natural I believe (the adrenaline rush that you CAN begin to love and chase: it's the thrill of the hunt), but too much anxiety is due to wrong beliefs that you hold about yourself, women and the world.

Are you like that?

Life is strange

It's saturday night and I'm sitting home waiting for my girlfriend to call me. Yeah, because it turns out that she's really illed, and if she'll be ok later we'll meet at her home.

When it comes to thoughts, if you are equipped with negative beliefs and emotional you can't trust them. It's tough because it seems that you can't trust your own judgement. But as you already know, you already have this best judgment into you, you only need to LISTEN to it and be willing to do the right thing. Trust the "Man voice" in your head.

In summary: your views of the world are filtered and shaped by your thoughts and beliefs. If your beliefs are wrong, you will repeatedly observe that in a lot of situations you simply misunderstand what happens to you. You can get angry or needy when there isn't any reason. And if you are not careful you can ruin all you have done with a particular chick and lose her.


"What? You were out to pick some medications for you? I believed... I was thinking... oooh how stupid I am!" And when things like that happens again and again you really begin to feel stupid.

It's not easy because you feel without control, a victim of your mind. Well, not neccessarily. You can gain control by focusing on the right things and cultivating positive (and more true) beliefs. How? Simple: meditation and CBT. Warning: simple, not easy!

How to ruin a relationship

I'm currently in a relationship for a year and a half now, and I'm ruining it.

When I started to learn about the right attitude and mindset of the seducer, I've attracted this girl and made her my girlfriend. Sadly, I've done the typical mistake of the newbie: once in a relationship, and the boat is going happily on the river, I've pulled my oars out of the water and stopped doing the things that attracted her to me in the first place. "I'm in a relationship now, I don't need to work at it anymore". I was DEAD WRONG. As you can imagine, this is not the most exciting and useful thing you can do in a relationship...

It was all happiness and the shining light of love over us, it was like our love was immortal and sure like the taxes and the death... then once I stopped doing the right things, she turned a little away, and I become insecure and needy. I tried to control it at first, but as I've already written, trying to control negative emotions is not good.

I went in a downward spiral of attitude, and all I've experienced (filtered by my crappy beliefs) and done since the beginning contributed to worsen the situation.

Now I'm trying to recover from this. How? This is what I'll try to do everyday:

• Meditate. Meditation is a technique to train your focus and attention.
• CBT. Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy. To break my old patterns of thought, install more positive beliefs and learn to deal effectively with my emotions.
  
• Affirmations. They are useful? I don't know, but I'll experiment with them.
  

This will be my daily routine. We'll see.

The right thing to do

I'm a pragmatic guy. Or at least, I try to be like that. That means that I like to be concrete, practical and goals-oriented. In short, being pragmatic means to do what works. And after a while that you study seduction material, you have sufficient data to know what is the right thing to do in a bunch of typical situations.

So it's easy? Not at all! In my case, sometimes even when I know EXACTLY what is the right thing to do, I do what doesn't work. When I'm emotional often I know what I have to do, but I think "fuck with that!" and do the opposite. I hate when my mind works against my own interest.

When I'm angry or too anxious, my reason and my good sense is bullied by my amygdala. My mind is taken by storm and I do something that I'll regret later on: "what the hell I've done? What the fuck I was thinking?"

The mind is extremely complex, and if you have problems (social phobia, excessive shyness, anxiety, depression and the like) you can make it worse if you don't know how the mind works. Specifically, if you try too hard to control you negative emotions and thoughts, you will multiply and reinforce them. This is my problem.

Instead, you must accept them and without trying to shut them off, direct you focus (attention) on something more positive (and useful, remember I'm pragmatic).