What self-respect is

I've dumped my girfriend.

It wasn't easy, but I couldn't keep to suffer because of her behaviour. She was acting distant and indifferent toward me, for two months now.

There are a lot of reasons to that that are outside my control, but basically I think she's not so attracted to me anymore. In fact, if you threaten your girlfriend telling her: "call me today before 18:00pm or it's over" and she FORGET to call you than there is something seriously wrong here... So I dumped her.

However, I still managed to give away my power EVEN AFTER DUMPING HER! She wanted to speak with me so we meeted yesterday. In my mind our relationship was already over and I've let her go so I was very calm and not angry anymore. I drive to her home and speak for over an hour, calmly saying something along the lines of: "you have disrespected me and my time, showing no interest for me and repeatedly ignored my emotions with an incredible selfishness... but IF YOU CHANGE there is still a chance." Back then it seemed a good idea: displaying emotional stability and willingness to forgive.

But maybe it was only a demostration of weakness, and a lack of self-respect. I don't know. I've realized, thanks to my (female) friend ("you have given her another chance? why??"), what self-respect is and I'm going to share that with you:

Self-respect is all about having certain well defined rules of behaviour, and you don't forgive who break them. Otherwise, you are a victim and give up all the power over the relationship to another person: then you feel powerless, a puppet in the hands of someone else.

I was a puppet, and I chosed myself this role by acting guided by my fear of losing her, without respect for me and my own time.

No more! Now I'm free, armed with new experience and dangerous :) I still have a long way to go, but I'll walk with my head up from now on.